I made this list of side effects when I was bored. I added to it so many different times that I had to delete half of them, narrow down to the best and funniest and it still took me over 10 minutes to read them. I had to speed up the video 125% and even faster in some sections, just to keep the video watchable. People generally do not have a very long attention span, so I tried to make this as entertaining as possible. Below I will include a full transcript (I added some extras in the video), but here is about 95% of it:
200 SIDE EFFECTS WHEN VOTING REPUBLICRAT
- Acute Amnesia
- Dehydration
- Hypersensitivity
- Stroke
- Heart Attack
- Migraine
- Deja Vu
- Getting fooled
- Stock market crash
- Money printing
- Rediculous interest rates on your savings
- Not having a savings
- $6 a gallon gas
- Nanny-State
- Playing the kazoo
- Accepting debt as enslavement
- Leaching off of the system
- Your neighbors kicking your ass for voting away their livelihoods
- Fear
- Panic
- Something to actually ‘panic’ about
- Threats
- Smoking reefer
- Wishing you had reefer
- Giving up alcohol due to the incredible tax hike
- Needing everything; having nothing
- Delusions of grandeur
- Playing the violin in the streets because it pays more than minimum wage
- Spontaneous growth of nose hair
- Cat food cravings
- Ability to attain Buddha-hood while bypassing the steps to Nirvana
- Inability to breathe
- Temporary tooth loss
- Permanent money loss
- Severe bleeding of the anus
- Redundancy
- Redundancy
- Redundancy
- Ignorance
- Complete collapse of civilization
- Puppy kicking
- Did I already mention Redundancy?
- Nausea
- Learning every blues song on harmonic
- Irritability
- Short temperament
- Hostility
- Homicidal impulses
- Rapid loss of mental clarity
- Amnesia
- Kidney failure
- Diarrhea
- Basing your vote on lies
- Weaken or absent critical thinking skills
- Realization that the two political parties began as ONE - Split in 2 - Are now 1 again
- Muscle aching and weakness
- Tingling or cramping in the legs
- Inability to walk due to medicare being slaughtered like a little lamb
- Problems sleeping
- Constipation (Because you can’t afford food)
- Being Poor
- Being Po (can’t afford the other two letters)
- Impaired ability to understand logic and reasoning
- Shouting at your television and not during a sports game…
- Demolishing your t.v. (Shouting wasn’t enough)
- Buying a television the day after you broke one because your wife is nagging
- Giving up on hopes and dreams
- Death of autonomy and the honest American vote which is our own fault
- Reality checks
- Penalties
- Bahhh-ing like a sheep
- Fines
- Getting fleeced
- Incompetence
- Idiocy
- Failure to observe and separate reality from fiction
- Blaming everyone but the ones who created this shit-storm
- Finger pointing
- Misery
- Failure
- Chronic smoking
- Police brutality
- Looking like a fool when ‘Your” president does worse stuff than the guy you bitched about for the last term(s).
- Name-calling
- More congressional dysfunction if it’s even possible
- Increased dysfunction of government programs
- Lack of goals and motivation
- Nerve damage from watching a rigged election every 4 years
- Mental confusion
- Trouble buying your b*tch that Louis handbag (Even Knock-offs)
- Sexism
- Racism
- Hating your own race
- Disliking white folks
- Decrease in pay
- Increase in pay because a $100 bill only gets a gallon of gas
- Loss of wages
- I.D.G.A.F. syndrome (I don’t give a f*ck)
- Liver damage and abnormalities
- Neuropathy
- Shortage of mailbox money
- Severe “blow-back” from foreign nations
- Whimpering
- Weeping
- Crying
- Sobbing
- Bitching
- Complaining
- Blaming rich people for the government stealing your money through inflation
- Whistle-blowing
- Occupy welfare movement
- Complete loss of faith in government
- Civil unrest
- Loss of personal liberties
- Dollar devaluation
- Total destruction of currency
- Loss of assets
- Foreclosure
- Theft
- Fraud
- Distress
- Turmoil
- Decay
- Erosion of autonomy, rights, freedoms, middle class
- Loss of employment incentives and wages
- Insufficient job growth
- Exponential National Debt Growth
- Paper money to the moon
- Every tree cut down to make 999 Quadrillion dollars for the paper-fetish-bankers
- Rising commodity prices
- Lack of consumer spending
- Money vortex
- Black-hole-Investments at every bank
- Planetary upheaval
- Fast-food employing 80% of youth in America
- More Pawn Shops than gas stations
- Debt…
- More debt…
- Even more debt…
- And even more debt than ever before!
- Trillions of virtual dollars
- Cow fart tax increase of 50% from the current cow fart tax
- Less agriculture
- Less productivity
- Less job availability
- Shitty job availability
- Un-payable sums of student loan debt outstanding
- People going to college to get free money...Wait that already started.
- Pooping in your pants
- Pooping in other people’s pants
- Breaking glass
- Breaking wind
- Relentless, hot, stinky, wind gusts from your backside
- Fried chicken becomes unpalatable
- Paying bills using wampum
- Starting fires
- Thinking your are free, but soon after figuring out that you aren’t
- Going to Prison
- Going back to prison
- Questioning beliefs
- Questioning Authority *Note (one good side effect)
- Quitting your job
- Getting Fired
- Layoffs
- Closing down and merging of companies and corporations
- Capital gains tax requiring first born child and/or blood rights
- Falling
- Tripping
- Climbing the fence back to Mexico
- WWIII commencement
- Death of the ‘almighty’ dollar
- Arguing caused by misleading publications and propaganda
- Realization that your president isn’t who you thought he was.
- Realizing that your food stamps are slimming
- Realizing that half black guy doesn’t give two shits about black people
- Cities turn to battlegrounds
- Home schooling because your taxes aren’t enough to pay union teachers salaries
- Putting your head in the sand
- Committing crimes
- Massive protest
- Indoctrination of enslavement
- Suddenly becoming owned by your “Big Brother”
- Massive opposition
- Loss of firearm permits
- Loss of total rights as an individual
- Turning your back on “glad-hands” with hidden agendas
- America turning into SS police state
- Loss of social security
- Increase in the minimum retirement age (actually true)
- No guarantee of social benefits in near future
- Disbelief in your own eyes
- Insanity
- Body odor
- Warts
- Hair-lip
- Voting for another cloned puppet, but a different color.
- War on hugs
- Getting robbed
- Getting beaten
- Getting robbed and beaten by someone who just lost their welfare check and can’t eat or feed their 1-9 babies that are now living in a 86’ deVille on 22” rims... no tires.
Finally... I told you.
Are You Prepared For An Emergency?
Why Wait Until You Are Stuck Without Power To Wish You Had A Back-Up Plan?
You never know how important your power is until you lose it.
